Today I would like to talk to you about fear. We all have fears at different points in our life. Sometimes we find the courage to move through it, while other times it becomes the monkey on our back that we just can't seem to let go of. By avoiding our fears we may stay in our comfort zone, and life will still go on but imagine the possibilities on the other side of that fear.
I personally know all too well about staying in my comfort zone and avoiding my fears. For example, like many people growing up, I developed a fear of public speaking. Like a typical teenager, I was self conscious, plus to add to that I was very shy. So public speaking with all eyes on me was a double wammy to my nervous system. The first time I had to do it I felt out of breath, with a lump in my throat the size of a baseball and my hands were so shaky that I could barely read the words on the page. All I could think after was "well I hope a NEVER have to do that again!"
From this moment I labelled myself as being a horrible public speaker and I avoided it at all costs. I even dropped out of classes in University that involved presentations...Yup my fear had taken control and I was happy to keep avoiding that area of my life. That is until a few years later when I went back to school and realized that I was in the same scenario and I had presentations to do in order to succeed.
This time instead of running the opposite way I realized that the only way to grow and become who I truly wanted to be was to move through it. I still had the nerves, but I didn't let it stop me from trying.... and I got through it by realizing everyone else was just as nervous and I that I would just do my best. Instead of being traumatized about how I must have looked and sounded, I laughed it off afterwards and would say..."oh boy that was pretty bad."
The truth is that I actually didn't do too bad, because people in the class would tell me after that I didn't look nervous,and that my presentation was good. Whether they were lying or not I will never know, but the truth is that many times the worst case scenario in our head about our fears will never actually materialize.
Fear as Zig Ziglar said is;
F-alse
E-vidence
A-ppearing
R-eal
I interpret this to mean that when we have a fear...whatever it is... we associate all the things that could go wrong with that fear, and dismiss anything that validates the contrary. When we only focus on the worst case scenario, we become frozen and don't give ourselves a chance to grow or to try to move past it ...our fear takes over and paralyzes our growth.
Zig Ziglar also said with fear we can make us;
F-orget E-verything A-nd R-un
or
F-ace E-verything A-nd R-ise.
The choice is yours!
I like to think that I am on my way of living the second option. Recently while doing my life coaching training, I decided to further move through my fear of public speaking. I just completed my Speech Mastery Course with the Certified Coaches Federation, which helped me to turn my fear into fuel for my passion for helping others. One thing I learnt that helped me the most was realizing that I just had to be myself and that it is really just a conversation...plus don't forget to breath, and most importantly to try to have fun with it.
Since as you know by now that I am into meditating and visualization,I was happy to hear that this helps as well. I visualized the night before my speech that I did it confidently as a conversation with the audience. I did this over and over while memorizing my speech at the same time. It totally worked:)...I still can't believe it! I mean I was still a little nervous, but I was actually enjoying it, and I truly feel now that I can do this. I am going to add to this by signing up for toastmasters as well because I know I still need a lot of work. Like I said I still have a long way to go, but like anything the first step to change is the hardest. I challenge you to take a step to move past your fears!
What kind of life do you want to live? One where you are frozen with the what if's of what could go wrong or the freedom of the possibilities of what could go right. I can tell you from experience that the freedom of climbing past the wall of fear into the place of possibly is worth the initial uncomfortable feeling that it brings, because the comfortableness eventually fades and then you are left with your personal growth and satisfaction. It's so worth it...I promise you:)
5 steps to go from fear to freedom!
- Recognize the unhealthy fears you have that are holding you back from important goals in your life.
- List of positive changes that could possibly happen if you addressed each fear.
- Decide which one if addressed would result in the most freedom for yourself and the possibilities for your life...start with that one:).
- Visualization goes a long way because your subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between real or imagined and you will actually be making new neural connections based on the idea around your fear and your bodies response to the stimuli. The mind is a powerful thing..so start using it as your as your friend instead of your enemy. FYI- use positive outcomes:)
- Baby step your way to move through it...breath... and know that it will feel uncomfortable, and that this is normal, but it will be worth it.
I would love to hear your stories of overcoming your fears. Please feel free to share:)
